05-30-2008
Spiritually Fit Guys
This One’s for the Guys
I have the privilege of spending the majority of my time in the presence of males. I married one, have three little ones (actually one a little taller than me), I have a dad, a father-in-law, a brother in Christ, and some of the bestest friends of the male persuasion. I also have a mail- man, no wait… she if female. Anyway, the men in my life have led me to believe that they could use some help from time to time attempting to understand the women in their life. If you have ever sought to comprehend the female mind only to continue coming up blank; this message might help you…
10 Helpful Hints for my Male Friends~
- Girls like cards with messages written from you on them, not just the creative designer at Hall-mark (who is probably a girl). The only part we really read is what you write in your own handwriting so spend some time there (it will be to your benefit).
- Don’t ever, ever, ever, never, ever comment on our weight, not if we gain, not if we lose. If you tell us we look good because we lost weight then when we gain it back we remember it as you saying we are a fat, ugly, unattractive, humongous, ginormous, overstuffed cow. That is how it is translated into our brain whenever you comment on our weight loss- so just zip it. Seriously, we already know how our jeans fit- we don’t need your help with this one. Memorize this phrase and marital bliss just might be in your future “You are perfect exactly the way you are!”
- Don’t be frustrated because we don’t have the same interests as you. If we liked watching sports, playing golf, hunting, and spitting we would be called… a guy.
- Don’t say with negativity that we are not the same woman you married; If we were still that girl we would have ceased growing. Woman are constantly changing, that is part of the excitement for you – you get to be with a new woman every day.
- Don’t comment when we change our hair other than “It looks great!” If we want it straight, or curly, black, brown, red, blonde, ash, cinnamon, strawberry, or streaked go with it. We will change it soon anyway so it’s best to keep it to yourself. If you say you hate it chances are we will keep it that way longer. See rule # 2 for more information. Hint ~ You are perfect exactly….
- Cereal is a food-group with essential vitamins and minerals, thus when we serve it to you for breakfast and dinner it is because we love you and want you to reap the amazing heart healthy benefits.
- We are not good at relaxing because you are usually doing it for the both of us.
- If you are looking for romance, NASCAR re-runs is not the direct path.
- PMS is a serious syndrome with dangerous side effects (like irrational, tearful, sometimes violent outbursts). Don’t argue with us on this one until you can experience it for yourself. Simply medicate us with chocolate and migrate to another room, any one other than the one we are in is fine.
- Girl’s night out does not constitute picking up your dry cleaning with a girlfriend. Make sure you encourage us to schedule regular play dates with our female counterparts. We come home nicer to you!
Clearly, the list is much longer, but due to short-term memory and the fact that your game is about to start, I will leave you with the 10 nuggets above to further enhance your relationships with the important females in your life. Good luck!
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